You stood me up on that "date" too.

Do you know what I wanted to tell you about?

I wanted to tell you about

one night

at the hotel

up at Berkeley

when I woke up,

crying practically hysterically.

I was so loud and 

I might have even been sleep talking

because 

it woke up

both my parents

and Maria.

It took me a while to even realize

what had happened

and what was going on

but I 

couldn't get back to sleep after a while

and I desperately

wanted to call you

and hear your voice

and make sure

you were okay.

Because I had a night mare

about you.

You

were leaving

leaving me

crying and screaming

and begging you

not to leave.

I won't say

everything here.

Come ask me

if you ever really want to know.

Things are changing now..

I hope that will let me 

get to spend a little

more time

with you

But of course

that's only if

you even

want to. 

Last hug= ISABEL CHUA.

That made me smile. 

It really did :)

I've missed dropping you off 

at your doorstep ©

It was really nice to go to another dance after not going for such a long time...

I missed the music

and the lights

and even the ringing in my ears

as I lay down in bed,

exhausted.

Now, I just can't wait for next Friday...

I'm going to miss everyone over the summer 

but I'm still really excited.

I'm dreading my grades..

But I hope I can do well on finals

and pull them up :)

If not...

well...let's not think about that right now :D 

I'm excited for Friday

I'm excited for July...

and I'm actually

excited for my birthday this year ©

I think summer is just

looking pretty good

in general :)

I hope I'm not disappointed ^-^

That really made me smile ^-^

A lot of the time he just disappears...

But this time he actually took the time

to say goodnight :]

I just discovered that today!

Because Avi and I were talking about bubblewrap earlier...and so of course out of curiosity i had to look it up online! 

And...

OFFICE DEPOT SEELS IT IN A ROLL :D

So...if anyone's at a loss for what to buy me for my birthday..well...there you go ;D

If not, I know what I'm buying with my birthday money! xD

Oh the fun I will have...and the various art projects I can make :D

and

HAPPY 1 MONTH EARLY BIRTHDAY TIM~! ©

99 Red Ballons = the song of the day!
It kept playing (I think it was someone's ringtone) when I was getting my haircut and it was played over and over on DDR at Jennie and Tim's party :D

Plus!
My parents needed to go to the citadel today so I had to go too...even though I didn't want to.
But on the way to the store they wanted to go to, we passed my TOYS R US :D
So of course, I had to pull my brother along with me and I spent the whole time there :3
And I bought Jennie a nerf gun for her birthday~ x]
I feel so very childish today...
I woke up hugging my blue bear ©
And the first thing I ate this morning was jellybeans :) 
And I got all excited and bright-eyed at TOYS R US :D


The party was lotsa fun :)
I like how Vince and I got all competitive..and we're actually talking again :)
I missed hanging with him ^-^
But he's a cheater xD
DDR and Twister = jelly legs
Seriously. What a workout xD
My legs felt like jell-o and I was sweating soo much xD
BUT I STILL NEVER LOST A GAME OF TWISTER! MWAHAHAHAHA
Though I still need a rematch with Eric Hanamoto cuz we never really got to finish our game :P
The food was yummy too :D
The first thing I ate at the part? STRAWBERRIES :D
Yuumm ^-^
Nandi now hates me for cutting my hair xD
Julian beat me at poking T.T
Tim shot nerf darts at my butt .-.
Vince is half held my hands..and half hugged me..weird x]
I IMed Avi...I was his third guess x]
I met new people :D (ish x])
What was that one guys name...Kyle? He bounced the exercise ball on my butt while I was playing twister o.o
I recognized Matthew...we've met before but I don't think he remembers :P
Miguel enjoyed watching the girls play twister...a little too much I think -.-
Dustin played lotsa DDR O:
I got Jennifer to play DDR for the first time :D
Grace played DDR too :D
and Renz too :D
But I mostly played against Dustin x]
THERE WERE LOTSA BALLOONS :D
That was the first thing I noticed when I got to the party x]
I like balloons :3
I also like chocolate chip cookies and strawberries ^-^

...Now I must go to sleep before I get hungry...
This post was refreshing to type :D
Nighty night ^-^
©

I read a bit of your blog today :) 

And 
friends come and go...
I'm not quite sure what you mean by
what you've turned into
And I guess
I don't really have anything to compare too
because I didn't know you back then
But I love you very much as you are now :)

how much I love you?

No?

Well

I'm sorry, 

I guess it's just because

I can't stretch my arms that far.

It distracts me from my own thoughts. 

I feel like a failure.

My parents are really good at making me feel that way.