In this farewell

There’s no blood

There’s no alibi

‘Cause I’ve drawn regret

From the truth

Of a thousand lies

So let mercy come

And wash away

What I’ve done

I'll face myself

To cross out what I’ve become

Erase myself

And let go of what I’ve done

Put to rest

What you thought of me

While I clean this slate

With the hands of uncertainty

So let mercy come
And wash away
What I’ve done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done

For what I’ve done

I start again

And whatever pain may come

Today this ends

I’m forgiving what I’ve done

I'll face myself

To cross out what I’ve become

Erase myself

And let go of what I’ve done

What I’ve done

Forgiving what I’ve done

In a strange sort of way, this song fits. =P

~~~~~~~~ Happy New Year!! ~~~~~~~

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This song kept playing in my head while I was reading all the volumes around volume 15 of Kare Kano...when Arima was going through a lot when his birth mom came along and he wouldn't open up to anyone...

Cold, Cold Heart

I've tried so hard, my dear, to show that you're my every dream

Yet you're afraid each thing I do is just some evil scheme

A memory from your lonesome past keeps us so far apart

Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold cold heart?

Another love before my time made your heart sad and blue

And so my heart is payin' for things I didn't do

In anger, unkind words I say that make the teardrops start

Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold cold heart?

Another love before my time made your heart sad and blue

And now I know your heart is shackled to a memory

The more I learn to care for you, the more we drift apart

Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold cold heart?

I think it fits really well, esp the bold parts. =]

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Today:

-It's my brother's b-day today. ^.^
-My sister got a haircut. It's really cute on her. =D
-I saw Mr. Rosenberg (O.o) and Johanna at Walmart. X]
-I just finished reading the last volume of Kare Kano. =] /=[ *bittersweet*
-and now...I'm bored. I really miss you guys....we should all go do something together over break. =D (yeah right, we always say that but never get to T-T)
-I want to make a post about something that's actually interesting...so I'll just post random stuff til i think of something.

*Did you notice? I deleted a lot of 'stuff'..... ;P*

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Izzy and I want to make a video to Confidence by Teddy Geiger =D
(Hopefully) This will be the cast:
Me
Chris
Izzy
Josh (though he doesn't know about it yet...and I haven't told Izzy yet but we need him for the ending part ;])
and then Shivvy do you think you could help filming too?
and...I want Emily and Catherine to be in the video too.....but then...there aren't any more major charaters to play....but we're gonna need some extras in some parts so a lot of people can be in it for at least a little bit. =P
Whheeeee this should be fun =D
I really hope we acutally get to do it. >.<

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I haven't updated in a loooonngg time. O.o
So...I have to cover over a week in one post. -__-x
Weeelllll let's see...can't really remember much....
I had a week full of white Chinese boys XD I spent a lot of time with Chris...and about every other thing eveyone talked about was a bout Zach Ableson -__-xx

Lemme see....Monday - Wednesday: can't remeber

Thurday: SICK. And was gonna leave school...but then decided not to go....

Friday: LAST DAY BEFORE WINTER BREAK!! YAAYY! Almost a perfect day.
-Before school- morning locker buddies =D http://youtube.com/watch?v=aAeibxKI3Cw
-Jill and Chris start the joke about my 'naughty hat' XD
-2nd per- watched...math movies -.-''
-3rd per- corrected test <__< I got an 85% T-T
-Snack- Can't really remember =/
-4th per- Passed basketball tests =]
- Discovered that i'm bad at testing. I made 5 layups in a row when Ednoff wasn't looking and then when we started testing...I missed. -__-x
-5th per- Watched the firefly movie =]
- then started watching the Simpsons episode of when they go to Japan. =P
-6th per- Watched National Treasure
-7th per- Watched It's a Wonderful Life
Afterschool- Running around trying to find everyone and figuring out who was getting a ride with me or not. Josh decided to go with Bender and Shivvy finds her mom so it was just Izzy, Alice and Michy getting a ride.
- we buy boba =D Izzy sees Josh come and wants to ditch me T-T But my boba comes first so I get my revenge and go outside talk to Josh. (MWAHAHAHAHA) But I'm too nice so I tell Josh that Izzy's in Tapioca Express and that he should go talk to her. ;P
- Take photobooth pics =] I think...Alcie has them...? O.o
- I get ditched. =[ oh well. At least everyone else was happy. =] no point in staying pissed...

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Monday- Tuesday- CHRISTMAS EVE/ CHRISTMAS DAY =D
-Tueday night-Santa comes early O.o At about 6:00 -.-''
- go to Church. I see...Shane...but he doesn't see me. O.o I didn't know we went to the same church. O.o Then I see Stephen but he doesn't see me either. Then I see Andrea. We wave hi to each other. =D and then before I leave Shane sees me and we wave hi to each other too. =] I kept looking around for Stephanie...but I guess she went to the midnight mass or something...
- Go to Aunt and Uncles house (we alternate between their house and ours every year =p) And we eat and do karaoke. I never got lower than a 92. Highest was 97. X]
- A bit after 12:00 (it's officially Christmas morning XP) we open presents. =D
- got a lot of random stuff.....=]
-When I get home my parents say that they feel like they forgot something....and then pull out 4 more presents from the garage or something O.o
-they were all medium sized boxes...except for one that was really big. I kept staring at it thinking 'no way...no way...' it was the perfect sized box for an electric guitar. I unwrapped it...and HECK YES it's an electric guitar. =DD I mess around with it a bit and then go to sleep. -.-zZ
-Christmas day! (after we wake up which is about 12 for me XD) we go to Downtown Disney =D
-Watched The Golden Compass. meh. It wasn't nearly as good as I thought it would be. =/
-Ate at the Rainforest Cafe. =D
- Went home...forgot what else I did XD...and went to sleep.
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Yesterday (Dec. 26)- Bought my brother's b-day (Dec. 28) present and my sister's b-day (Jan. 6) present. I bought something random as part of Shivvy's present too. *hint it's food* =P
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today- YAY I've finally caught up. Nothing special for today so I think this post is done. =]

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I feel sick. >.<
So tomorrow if I seem really out of it, you'll know why. T-T

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It was rainging again today. =]

It's been a pretty good week at school so far.

But..I'm...scared.
This Friday is the last day before winter break...and I'm scared something bad will happen and it'll turn out something like last year.
Does anyone remember? It was during speech class... Chris? Catherine?
Well, I sat alone in the halls...pretty sad all by myself watching everyone else so happy exchanging gifts, etc....
I remember...Chris came along and gave me chocolate. =] and Catherine spent the whole time in class trying to comfort me. So after a while I left to go to the restroom to calm down and wash off my tearstained face. When I came back and there were some cards and candy sitting on my desk. I still have all of them. =]
It comforted me a lot...but I still felt pretty lonely. In the next period after that (math) I started drawing emo pics.

"Yule Shoot Your Eye Out"

These are your good years

Don't take my advice

You never wanted the nice boys anyway

And I'm of good cheer

'Cause I've been checking my list

The gifts you're receiving from me

Will be

One awkward silence

And two hopes you cry yourself to sleep

Staying up, waiting by the phone

And all I want this year is for you to dedicate your last breath to me

Before you bury yourself alive

Don't come home for Christmas

You're the last thing I wanna see

Underneath the tree

Merry Christmas, I could care less

Happy New Years, baby

You owe me

The best gift I will ever ask for

Don't call me up, when the snow comes down

Its the only thing I want this year

One awkward silence

And two hopes you cry yourself to sleep

Staying up, waiting by the phone

And all I want this year is for you to dedicate your last breath to me

Before you bury yourself alive

Don't come home for Christmas

You're the last thing I wanna see

Underneath the tree

Merry Christmas, I could care less

^I wonder if that was someone's Christmas wish for me last year? Cuz they sure as heck got what they wanted then....
But this year...I want this year to be different.
I've been kinda lonerish but only at snack. I haven't been lonerish at lunch at all all week...(even on Monday which is weird) and I wanna thank the person I've been spending lunch with all week for that. =]
Friday....is supposed to be fun. I've got a date for the movies hehehe ;] *heart*
So Verrett better hurry up and buy the tickets or else Imuna be PISSED.

hahaha this post went from emo to kinda happy. =D

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Yet another 'My Day Today' post. (I started yesterday and finished today so I can't really remember a lot but here goes....)

I had a pretty good day today. And it was raining and rain always makes me happy. ^-^

2nd per
- OMJ = Oh my Jesus
- me and Emily Hwang singing 'Bulid me up Buttercup to Ms. Jensen's phone XD

3rd per
-I GOT A POINT!! W00T! THANKS TO SCOLLY X]

Snack
- mehh. Kinda sucked. Well not sucked but nothing good either..just really boring. Should've just went to PE with Izzy and Catherine. =/

4th per
- Played basketball. Me and Jessica vs Alex and Joyce...I think we lost by 1 point T-T....

5th per

- Oyama sensei wondered where I was this morning cuz I wasn't there to say good morning and get stamped XD
- CPR presentations. ROFL ZACH'S GROUP SHOWED US HOW TO MAKE SUSHI....BY USING PEOPLE XD He made me salt. =] Pauline and Joan were vinegar. Emma and Emiko were sugar...I think. And tehn the guys were rice and the upperclassmen (sempai) And then Zach said we needed to be mixed together he says to 'intermingle' ...so Leo goes and gets Emma and Harrison and he's like 'This is Harrison...' ROFLMAO Zach was like 'You guys are too young. You're only in 8th grade' =P hahaha I agree with him.

6th per
- hmm...nothing special....

Lunch
-Wandered around looking for Shivvy
-when I find her she runs off to go find Zach -.-'' So Chris tells me to sit next to him. =]...and then he insults me some more -.-'' But then he gives me a hug so it's okay. ^_^

7th per
- Josh was sleeping....and then Izzy thought he was crying and she was so concerned so we woke him him up XP

Afterschool
- My mom forgot about me -.-'' So AliceZuo and I are one of the few left. Zosa finds a snail on a leaf...and then STOPMS ON IT O-O T-T Alice and I named him leaf...and had a moment of silence for him. *sniff* =[

.....I couldn't remember a lot....but oh well. It's a pretty boring post but people have been complaining cuz I haven't updated a lot recently. -.-'

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I was walking to lunch with Chris today and he told he was surprised that I haven't posted in 2 days. So I will go out of my way to think up something to post about. Don't you feel special? =P
though...I really dunno what to post about....-.-''
Sure, I could just write about my day....but that even makes me bored so I don't want to.
Then...I don't really wanna make another emo post.....I already have two really really long ones in a row O.o...although this post will problly turn emo by the time I'm done typing...
hmm...there's not really anything that happened today that I can 'reflect on' or anything.....just more of the same....
ohh well....hmm...lemme see....
Well, I was reading are Kano last night. I borrowed vol 10, 11, and 12 from the library so now I'm on #13 =D
Vol 11 & 12 is about Tsbasa and Kazuma.
Doesn't it suck when you start liking someone you know you shouldn't. Like because your best friend likes him or he already likes someone else (or like in Tsubasa and Kazuma's case you're stepbrother and step sister O.o). So, in an attempt to make things better, you don't say anything about it. You tell people you don't like anyone. Then you try avoiding that person...but then that just makes things worse. Usually that'll just make you fall deeper and deeper into (your unrequieted) 'love'. And then what do you do? Should you still stay away hoping that enough time away from the person will somehow eventually help you get over them? It must work a heck of a lot better than hanging around them so much....all though the times you do happen to run into them...you wish you could stay there forever...
But I know that...that's problly the best you can do.....but I just want to know....how much time?
Is hanging out with that person less and less enough? Or should you cut all ties completely?
And more importantly, what about with friends? Friends who you luv very much...but then you aren't sure want to really actually hang out with you....

.....great....I'm about to start an emo rant again...so I'll stop now.

...I just realized that did have a little something to do with my day....O.o

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I haven't posted in while...and there was so much I wanted t opost but didn't get to. =[ Oh well I'll just post them some other time if I feel like it.....but for now I'll just write about my day.

Today:
Depressed...all day....morning was bad....and then I thought that at least finally performing our song for science would cheer me up...I was DEAD WRONG. WE SUCKED CRAP....no wait....WE SUCKED MORE THAN CRAP T-T....
So that was it...after that I was just openly depressed....I got a hug from Izzy and Josh during English though to make me feel better...and then I hugged Shivvy and Emily too ^_^....
but then....Chris rejected me; he wouldn't give me a hug. =[[ and then he went on making fun of me again.....
....and...well....he might read this sometime later so I won't write about it here....
.........but let's just say I didn't smile as I waving bye to him.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSH!

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