Staying up late at night/early in the morning all by myself isn't new to me... It can be a little scary sometimes... The light outside turns on from time to time, motion censored I think. I can hear deep breathing, as if there's comone, unseen, right by me. But in then I realize it's just muffled snoring from everyone else sleeping. And yet, I can hear it, over my music, as I sit here surrounded by darkness broken only by the light of the computer screen. But those things, one can get accustomed to. It's what happened last night and what will probably happen tonight as well. But there's something different that happened last night that I hope never happens again.
1:30 AM- I finally 'finish' my homework. I say goodnight to Alice Zuo and turn off the computer. Then, suddenly remembering my history packet, turn it back on. I make the corrections, put in my grade, and print out the sheet. I turn the computer back off, clean up my stuff and go into my bedroom. I drop off my stuff, then go to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Then, just as I finish, I feel like my heart stops for a second. My exhastion, headache, and sickness must've finally gotten to me as pangs of pain shoot through my head. My eyes bloodshot as I look up at the mirror. I'm throwing up, and throwing up still even when nothing but spit is coming out. It's like my body won't stop til it throws up my heart. I crash to the floor, gasping for breath, and then sat there, for what was at least half an hour, trying to pull myself back together. I swear...I thought I might've died... and I thanked God I didn't. But it made me realize just how scary being alone can be. When no one can see you, no one can hear you, and your life can pass without anyone ever knowing what happened. In case you're wondering, I promise nothing here is exaggerated, even if it seems completely random and impossible to you.
