Sorry Shivvy, I'm letting it get to me. >.< >
But this is a rant I've been wanting to post anyway so I will...
You said you don't care...
but I do. =/
Not in the same way,
but don't worry, I'm glad to know it doesn't bother you.
I just really have to get this rant out...
Talk to you again soon. (:
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TO:______ (If you don't know who you are, I'm not gonna tell you.)
I just read your wall-to-wall and for some reason it just annoyed the crap outta me.
Maybe it's just jealousy that you're spending so much time talking to ____ and none with me.
Usually, I wouldn't really mind...
Excpet for the fact that you made it seem like you cared.
In the moment, you seemed like you honestly cared about me as I started crying over the phone...
But you didn't make any effort after that.
You didn't even try to make sure I was okay.
Maybe it's my fault I don't have AIM or Facebook or text...
But you could've emailed..or at least TRY to go on YM? Have you?
You barely do anymore...
Or you could've said something on your blog...
but no. You're too wrapped up talking about ____ and _____.
Don't deny it.
It's too obvious.
What would you have done...
what would you have done if I had KILLED myself?
I really thought about doing it...
How would you feel if you found out I had killed myself while you were busy talking to ____?
I'm not mad/emo right now...or at least I don't think I am...
I dunno what I'm feeling..
just sorta...empty right now I guess.
So what was the point of this?
Well...
Sorry...
I guess I sorta took it out on _____.
But really, it's not just ____.
I know you're talking to a lot of other people...
I just happen to know you're specifically talking to ____. A lot.
And it just hurts to know talking to _____ and sounding like a total flirt is more important to you than making sure I'm okay.
And maybe I'm just being selfish...
Maybe I'm just being conceited to think I was actually important to you.
And maybe I deserve this...?
Or maybe for once you're the one in the wrong...?
And if I ever blow you off like this...
know it's because someone else saved me.
And not because you couldn't, but because you didn't try.
I still love you...
if that even matters to you...
Though I hope it does.
Hope to talk to you soon....
I miss you.
♥
