In my shoes:

Sunday, June 13, 2010

His & Her Circumstances

I found your blog thanks to a certain someone.
At one point,
wasn't my blog named
"Her Circumstances" ?
Or something to that effect...something Kare Kano themed
And seeing that title..
well
it made me feel...something.
I can't exactly describe what it is
but it's something with
a bit of happiness in knowing,
understanding,
and that oh so familiar
tinge of sadness
I tend to feel around you
because it's always felt like
you don't care about me
as much
as I care about you.
You don't know it,
but there are times you've made me feel
completely
invisible.

Do you still read this blog?
I know you did a couple times at least...
Did you know..
you still probably have
the most blog post labels?
Okay, so maybe it has something to do
with the fact that I don't label all my posts
but still...
I write about you a whole heck of a lot.
It's because
you're a pretty important person
in my life,
I think.
Even though
I think
you've lost the ability
to see the pain in my eyes.
Maybe I've gotten better at hiding it.
But I still think
you've lost your touch.

I guess I only have myself to blame.
But actually
I do that a lot.
Still...
whenever I invite you somewhere,
you can never come.
Either you're busy
or you have
someone else
to hang out with
at that time.

I jokingly told you
that I was mad at you
and I know you knew I wasn't mad
but
I really was
hurt.
Do I really have to be the one
to come to you
when I wanna hang out?
I sought you out
4th period
You told me
you had a meeting at lunch.
Fine.
That I understand...
At lunch, I see you.
Some girl is crying,
you talk to her.
Fine.
I understand that too.
I put my head down on the table.
I cry.
I look up,
eyes tinted red,
and see you
No meeting?
Okay.
But the least
you could've done
was
say hi.
But no I didn't even get that.
Your excuse?
You friend was crying.
Yeah
of course
I know
but I was too.
Not that
you ever notice
anymore.
Why didn't you at least
try to find me
when you figured out
that you didn't have a meeting?
It wouldn't have been hard..
I was sitting RIGHT THERE.
Right at the table,
right by you.

You stood me up on that "date" too.

Do you know what I wanted to tell you about?

I wanted to tell you about

one night

at the hotel

up at Berkeley

when I woke up,

crying practically hysterically.

I was so loud and

I might have even been sleep talking

because

it woke up

both my parents

and Maria.

It took me a while to even realize

what had happened

and what was going on

but I

couldn't get back to sleep after a while

and I desperately

wanted to call you

and hear your voice

and make sure

you were okay.

Because I had a night mare

about you.

You

were leaving

leaving me

crying and screaming

and begging you

not to leave.

I won't say

everything here.

Come ask me

if you ever really want to know.

And if you
forget my birthday
again this year...
Well...
I doubt you will
because
someone actually cared enough to wrap my locker this year
and I still have yet to get my birthday crown...
and someone has actually cared enough
to throw me a party
and of course,
your on the invite list...
I doubt you can forget
after all that...
But then again
last year
you did forget
and didn't say
a thing
when I saw you at dance class
and told Tiffany about how
I had gotten a camera for my birthday.
Just
please don't forget.

Things are changing now..

I hope that will let me

get to spend a little

more time

with you

But of course

that's only if

you even

want to.

Labels: Chris

xmichbelx
12:29 PM

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Fine, fresh, fierce, we got it on lock~

Aloha was awesome :D
Sure, the first hour was awkward...
and the DJ coulda been a little better with the song selection (Party in the U.S.A.? Really? Ugh. -.-)
But still!
Lotsa fun :D
I missed going to dances ^-^
YAY BOUNCY SLIDE :D
Dancing with Avi and Chris © (Me + Avi, Hannah + Chris then Hannah + Avi, Me + Chris)
Poor Sagar was fifth wheeling...o.o
I missed spending time with Hannah :3
and Shivvy~!
And Alice! Alice is always lotsa fun to dance with :D
And Izzy too of course! Always my unofficial date ;] ©
And everyone else in the various circles I danced in :3
I think Jennifer really likes taking pictures of me. :P
Dunno why.... but I wanna see all of them eventually!! :D
I just realized that I have now been to 1 Social, 1 Hello dance, 1 Fall Ball, and 1 Aloha...
That's it. x]
Sadies, formal and prom...by the end of next year? :D

Last hug= ISABEL CHUA.

That made me smile.

It really did :)

I've missed dropping you off

at your doorstep ©

It was really nice to go to another dance after not going for such a long time...

I missed the music

and the lights

and even the ringing in my ears

as I lay down in bed,

exhausted.

Now, I just can't wait for next Friday...

I'm going to miss everyone over the summer

but I'm still really excited.

I'm dreading my grades..

But I hope I can do well on finals

and pull them up :)

If not...

well...let's not think about that right now :D

I'm excited for Friday

I'm excited for July...

and I'm actually

excited for my birthday this year ©

I think summer is just

looking pretty good

in general :)

I hope I'm not disappointed ^-^

xmichbelx
12:25 AM

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Monday, June 7, 2010

Guess who this is?

well i gtg now

gnite michele :)

That really made me smile ^-^

A lot of the time he just disappears...

But this time he actually took the time

to say goodnight :]

xmichbelx
9:39 PM

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OFFICE DEPOT SELLS BUBBLE WRAP O:

I just discovered that today!

Because Avi and I were talking about bubblewrap earlier...and so of course out of curiosity i had to look it up online!

And...

OFFICE DEPOT SEELS IT IN A ROLL :D

So...if anyone's at a loss for what to buy me for my birthday..well...there you go ;D

If not, I know what I'm buying with my birthday money! xD

Oh the fun I will have...and the various art projects I can make :D

xmichbelx
9:17 PM

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Saturday, June 5, 2010

You an I in a little toy shop, buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got...

and

99 Red Ballons = the song of the day!
It kept playing (I think it was someone's ringtone) when I was getting my haircut and it was played over and over on DDR at Jennie and Tim's party :D

Plus!
My parents needed to go to the citadel today so I had to go too...even though I didn't want to.
But on the way to the store they wanted to go to, we passed my TOYS R US :D
So of course, I had to pull my brother along with me and I spent the whole time there :3
And I bought Jennie a nerf gun for her birthday~ x]
I feel so very childish today...
I woke up hugging my blue bear ©
And the first thing I ate this morning was jellybeans :)
And I got all excited and bright-eyed at TOYS R US :D

The party was lotsa fun :)
I like how Vince and I got all competitive..and we're actually talking again :)
I missed hanging with him ^-^
But he's a cheater xD
DDR and Twister = jelly legs
Seriously. What a workout xD
My legs felt like jell-o and I was sweating soo much xD
BUT I STILL NEVER LOST A GAME OF TWISTER! MWAHAHAHAHA
Though I still need a rematch with Eric Hanamoto cuz we never really got to finish our game :P
The food was yummy too :D
The first thing I ate at the part? STRAWBERRIES :D
Yuumm ^-^
Nandi now hates me for cutting my hair xD
Julian beat me at poking T.T
Tim shot nerf darts at my butt .-.
Vince is half held my hands..and half hugged me..weird x]
I IMed Avi...I was his third guess x]
I met new people :D (ish x])
What was that one guys name...Kyle? He bounced the exercise ball on my butt while I was playing twister o.o
I recognized Matthew...we've met before but I don't think he remembers :P
Miguel enjoyed watching the girls play twister...a little too much I think -.-
Dustin played lotsa DDR O:
I got Jennifer to play DDR for the first time :D
Grace played DDR too :D
and Renz too :D
But I mostly played against Dustin x]
THERE WERE LOTSA BALLOONS :D
That was the first thing I noticed when I got to the party x]
I like balloons :3
I also like chocolate chip cookies and strawberries ^-^

...Now I must go to sleep before I get hungry...
This post was refreshing to type :D
Nighty night ^-^
©

xmichbelx
11:46 PM

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