There is something...weighing more heavily on my mind...

and when I try to push it back, these things come up instead.

0-♥-

How do you know what the right thing to do is

when nothing feels right?

0-♥-

So...I'm hopping you all noticed...
I finally changed the layout! =D
It's white. =O
I took my new blog title from what Chris wrote in my yearbook.
I thought it sounded cool so yeah...XD
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a completely different note...

I started off my day..weirdly.

My dad woke me up a little bit after 9 cuz my sister needed to practice driving.

She practices in the Whitney parkinglot so while she was practicing, I just played basketball by myself.

I wasn't really focusing on making the baskets though...my mind started wandering to a lot of other things...

And when it was finally time to go home, I ended up more confused and frustrated than before I started thinking...

but that tends to happen a lot.

I haven't been able to sleep well again lately cuz of all this 'thinking'.

And I don't think I'm getting any closer to an answer...

...and probably...I should start by knowing exactly what my question is...

After playing basketball, I decided to listen to some music and read manga...

And the ending line to the story was:

"Even if your priorities get shaken up by someone else, if your new world makes you happy, then that's fine in it's own way, isn't it?"

So then I thought about that...

How much can you change for someone you love with it still being okay?

Is it ever okay to change yourself to be accepted by someone else?

Is it bad to be stubborn and want to be loved just for exactly who you are?

Maybe it depends...if you can love yourself first.

And when people change...are they still 'themselves'?

How do you ever really know who 'you really are'?

And why is it sometimes harder to read our own heart than other peoples?

...

Or maybe...it's all just really simple and I'm just making this all oh so complex.

But then again...I suppose life is more interesting that way...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On another different note,

As I was playing basketball, I stopped and looked around at the school.

Then I looked at the basketball.

And then I looked up at the sky;

the beautiful clear blue sky.

And I smiled.

0-♥-

hehe I'm posting this at 11:24 ;]

What time does she come on messenger??
I haven't talked to her in a week now!!
I miss my wife. =[
ISSSAABBBEELLL!! WHEERRREE ARREE YOOUUU??

0-♥-

beekadoodle107: lets both blog
beekadoodle107: (:


So now I'm blogging. =D


Let's see....
First I'll blog about ballroom yesterday.
It was fun. :)
Before class we just talked.
We talked about Tiffany's clothes...well first she was just ranting about her 'unbuttoning'. TMI Tiffany. XD
Then Chris says that if Tiffany dressed like him and if she was flat, she would be sexy. O.o
And then Tiffany says "I am kinda flat..." ROFLMAO XD
So then Chris says that now she's trying too hard. And then he says "What if I say jumping off cliffs is cool? Would you do that too?"
Then Tiffany says "You mean like...cliff diving? Cliff diving sounds fun!"


Tiffany said she wants me to be her partner instead and Chris can dance with my sister. XD
But that's just weird for my sister so we didn't switch. :P
Chris and Tiffany couldn't get the natural turn. hahaha I kept looking over and at them arguing and trying not to laugh. XD

This random lady told me she liked my shirt and she asked me where I got it.
I got it at Ross. =P
I was wearing the black shirt with the music notes all over it.
That was the shirt I bought last summer when my mom made me come with her to Ross...and I heard Chris, EmilyHwang, and JustinShieh stalking me. XD
I was listening to music but they were laughing so much I heard them anyway.
They were all hanging out at TC after summer school and I guess they saw me and decided to follw me. O.o XP


The beginning class goes too slow...but the advanced class goes way too fast.
There should be an intermediate class. D:

I didn't see Pauline at class yesterday. =[
I hope it wasn't cuz she forgot..again. XP

What else is there to say? Uhm...my feet hurt. XD

ahahaha okay. I think this post is done. THE END. (:

Labels: ballroom, Chris, clothes, EmilyHwang, JustinShieh, Pauline, Shivvy, Tiffany

0-♥-

Say Something Nice Game page 25-

Posted: May 16 2007, 5:53 PM

what are you implaying shivvy?
dang michy
well you have to do something cuz alice z did not go through all that for nothing
besides its not that hard
if i lost i coulda done that
at least it wasnt isaac -__-

SHIVVY LISTENS TO HER DADDY (MICHY CHANG)
MAYBE A LITTLE TOO MUCH


^Oh gosh...
Does anyone else remember what I was talking about there?
How ironic is that? -___________-

0-♥-

Thanks for remembering my birthday. ;] ♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥Andy- 12:00 AM- posts the happy birthday video he made. ^-^

♥Joe- 7:13 AM- Says happys birthday the forum. =D

♥JuJu- 9:01 AM- calls to say happy birthday. =] But I had to go cuz I was about to take a shower. X]

♥EmilyLiu- Wishes me happy birthday on a comment to Andy's vid on youtube. =P
And at 10:05 AM on the forum. =D

♥Isaac- 10:49 AM- calls and says "Isn't it your birthday today?" lol does that count? Well at least he remembered. =P

♥EmilyYang- I see her on ym for the first time in like....6 months. X]
michele bolanos (6/20/2008 11:21:20 AM): Whatcha doin?
ackhem.qwertyuiop (6/20/2008 11:21:29 AM): hmm
ackhem.qwertyuiop (6/20/2008 11:21:31 AM): messing around
ackhem.qwertyuiop (6/20/2008 11:21:32 AM): with the computer
ackhem.qwertyuiop (6/20/2008 11:21:33 AM): hahaha (:
ackhem.qwertyuiop (6/20/2008 11:21:35 AM): you?
michele bolanos (6/20/2008 11:21:58 AM): downloading pics and trying to think of a bday present for my sister to give me
michele bolanos (6/20/2008 11:22:02 AM): :P
ackhem.qwertyuiop (6/20/2008 11:22:12 AM): lol
ackhem.qwertyuiop (6/20/2008 11:22:14 AM): HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ackhem.qwertyuiop (6/20/2008 11:22:22 AM): :D
michele bolanos (6/20/2008 11:22:23 AM): lol thankss X]

♥Isabel- comes to my house with cake! =D And says happy brithday. And we hug.
And then posts a happy birthday pic to me on her blog too. =]

♥Shivvy- Wishes me happy birthday on her blog. =]
And then at 3:24 PM on ym

♥Andrew- 1:52 PM- Says happy birthday on my chat box.
And then again on his blog at 1:57 PM.

♥Renz- Makes a happy birthday post to me at 3:39 PM =]

♥Sayoni- 5:05 PM- Makes an angry birthday post. XD

♥Pauline- 11:32 PM- Sends me abirthday e-card. Very cute. ;]

♥MichyChang- June 22 , 12:07 AM - Edits her post to wish me a happy belated birthday. XD

♥TiffanyLiu- June 24, 10:20 PM- Emails me happy belated birthday. (:

♥Catherine- June 28 - writes happy belated bday in my comment box. =]

0-♥-

WHOA.
SCHOOL'S OVER.
SCRUSHMAN YEAR IS DONE.
=O


Bolsa Chica- June 16, 2008

FUN =D

But wouldve been funner if I was allowed to swim. T-T

But I did fun non-swimming stuff

-went shell hunting with Shivvy and Emily Hwang.

-Started making a sandcastle with Jill...then got chased away by sandcrabs X]

-got wet (but I didn't swim!)

-Threw the pink ball at people. (I hit William and Andrew =P)

-got a piggyback ride from Jaimee while she played volleyball O.o

-scream sang. "HEED MY LECTURE~" We just had to keep singing it over and over cuz it's our theme song! And Jane is moving to Korea and Jaimee might go to Ghar so it was our last chance. =[ Sorry to the people whose ears bled. =P

-toasted marshamllows! lol when Shivvy dropped hers. XD

-stood on the shore quietly by myself. Really peaceful. Nice feeling. =]

-Jenny asked me to watch the sunset with her. It was b~e~a~u~t~i~f~u~l.

LAST DAY- June 17, 2008. Last day as a scruchman. Also fun! =D

Got to school, went to homeroom.

Got my report back. lol I had people pass it down to me and JuJu called me lazy. =P
-Last words of wisdom. ... :

-Signed inserts in Brent's room.

-Found Shivvy, Andy, Jeremy, Andrew, Michy...I think...?O.o

-Rock Band in the MPR.

First song I sang was Move Along by AAR 91% on hard =]

Later I sang This Ain't a Scene, The Kill, Dead on Arrival (95% =D)

and then when the guys moved to Verrett's room they locked people out...but Charles opened the door for me ^-^

And I sang Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi...they guys were singing it first but no one really knew it that well so I took over...even though I only kinda knew the song...

But we got five stars anyway! O.o

-Took more pics at snack. Michys eating a popsicle in every one. -.-' XD

-Hung out in front of lockers.

-Tried to take pics of Jenny but she kept turning away. -.-''

-took a pic of Chris and JuJu sleeping. ;]

-Isaac took my spot...so I sat on him. X] Then he moved...and I fell on Chris. SORRY. (again)

-Andy takes a video or our first freshmen moments. =D

-GOODBYE HUGS. ><

-I didn't get to give Josh a goodbye hug. ..cuz right when I was about to, he hugged Izzy. =[

-Ralph gives nice hugs. Izzy says it's cuz he's experienced. XD (Ralph...what you said...better be a promise.)

-Chris hugs me then says "Sorry I have to bend down so much" -___-

-Ellie and I hug and she says we have to start talking next year. =P

-Priya and I hug and she says we should have math together next year. O.o

-I hugged Michael Marin. Weird. =P

-Hugged practically everyone I found. XP

-HUGGED RACHEL =O I was like "What are you doing here?" And she says "I don't know..." ahahaha she's so cute. So we hugged and took a picture together. Yay ^-^

-Shivvy finally found the 'perfect moment' to give me my present. Ginourmous manicure set. =O Love it. ;]

-Shivvy and Michy rode with me (my dad took the Mercedes so no room for Izzy who I couldn't find =/ ) and we went to TC.

-Dad gave me $60 to treat them to lunch.

-Met up with Jenny and Ellie...then Michy walked away with Ellie...so I ended up treating Jenny instead of Michy. XP

-Shivvy wanted to ea tat Woodranch. so we did.

-Guys wondered around waiting for us cuz there was no room. =[

-Andrew and Ben left early. Whhyyy? =[
I think I was screaming over the phone. XD

-Ellie and Michy came along...and watched us eat...and ate some of my fries. =P

-Watched Kung Fu Panda. It was cute. Sat between Jenny and Shivvy. Jenny kept making random comments. XP Shivvy freaked out cuz she thought the master guy was gonna die...even though I thought it was predictable that he was gonna say he was just resting. X]

-Old Navy. ROFLMAO XD

-Walmart. Bought icecream! ^-^

-Sat around and at eice cream and talked til everyone went home.
(Then I sat and read manga at Borders and later bought boba and waited for my dad to pick me up. Finally came around 7 O.o)

-Dinner with Izzy!!! =D Korean BBQ at The Corner Place

-Isaac calls while we're waiting for food. He tells us not to drink the water. He's right. It tastes funny. O.o

-He calls again in the car...and causes 'controversy'
My sister says "I sound like you on the phone. Can I get rid of him?" But I say no we're friends. ;P
Isaac calls again at 10:40 and then again at 11:18...but I was already asleep. O.o

So those were my last two days being a scrushmen. I think they were pretty well spent. =]
My only regret is....
NOT BUYING A SECOND INSERT SOONER.
T-T
Tiffany and Angel were supposed to sign a whole page each! D:
And there's a certain someone who said he'd sign once I got a new insert...but I never did. D:
And there was lotsa other people I wanted to sign my insert too. =[
Oh well...at least I've learned my lesson. =P
And...I'm just ranting now. So this post is now over. BOOM. done. (lol Izzy ;])

Labels: Bolsa Chica, Last Day, Rock Band

0-♥-

Just forget it...

Why do I keep doing this to myself?!?

I just gotta...calm down...and take a deep breath.

I can't change the past.

What's done is done...

0-♥-

It's almost been a year...

So wear me like a locket around your throat,

I'll weigh you down, I'll watch you choke.

You look so good in blue.

You look so good in blue.

0-♥-

I'm going to the beach~^_^
Turns out that I wouldn't be able to have an 'antibeach party' but I got to go the the beach anyway...
I don't see how that works but oh well...
I'm glad I got the 2nd to last spot.
Ellie was right behind me in line and then she saw my permission slip and she's like "O.o are you taking the last spot?"
And then I said "No there should be two spots left"
And there was!
So it all worked out.
I don't know what I would've done if there was only one spot left...I problly would've given it to her...but what would I do then...
ohh well no worries. Cuz it wasn't.
Hoorrayy! =D
That's only thing that worked out well for me all day.

0-♥-

I still wanna cry.
Today...was just NOT my day...
started out okay...and then got worse as the day went on.
That's...what I get for trying to be nice. Again.
That's it. That did it.
I'm done.

0-♥-

I knew what you were talking about, even though you didn't know...
Maybe it's a good thing you didn't look over and see how sad I suddenly got. =[

0-♥-

My heart is beating a mile a minute.

Can I get out of this one?

0-♥-

Izzy and I went to a prayer meeting today!!
Hooraayy!!
I really liked it. =]
Expect to see me and Izzy back again next year. ;]
Thanks JuJu for coming by my locker and telling me about it! ^_^
And Izzy happened to be passing by a minute later too. What perfect timing. =P
I'm glad we got to go to one before the year ended.
Though we missed Shivvy's "picnic" (SORRY. =[) I think it was better than chasing Isaac around all lunchtime...

0-♥-

Student showcase was today!!
Gosshhh we were all so nervous. ><
And it didn't help when the instrumental didn't work...
Thank goodness Ednoff let us pratice during PE.
Megan and EmilyHe even sneaked out to listen to us. ^_^

When the actual performance came around..it was A LOT harder than performing in front of them though.I look up and one of the first people I see in the crowd is my sister!! T-T

I think we did pretty well. ^_^
We messed up a bit, but not too bad. =]

Can't wait for showcase next year. =D

0-♥-

Aahhh I feel so...wasted.
And not cuz I only got 2 hours of sleep last night.
I actually wasn't really sleepy at school today.
I wasn't even really sleepy at all...
but my mom made me sleep afterschool so I slept for 4 hours and now I feel all blleeehhhh. TT-TT
Worst part is I had 24714714134897 things on my mind before I went to sleep and now I can't remember anything...including math and Japanese and what I had to ask Julian. O.o
When I woke up I couldn't even remember what I was doing...my mom came in and was all like "Get up it's already past 8!!"
And then I started freaking out thinking it was morning and I was late for school. XD
And then I look down...and I see me wearing my jeans...and then I get really confused..and then...after sitting there for the longest time and then finally I remembered that I took a nap earlier. XD

0-♥-

June 8, 2008
11:31 PM

For the first time in my life that I can remmeber...my dad just said sorry to me.He said sorry because I have to stay up doing history that I ddin't get to work on because he's been going to car places all weekend looking for a car so I didn't get to work on it until late today. I'm going to be up all night...but still, I'm really happy right now.

Labels: sorry

0-♥-

I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we've shared

It was awesome but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care
Now we're standing in the rain
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear

The 7 things I hate about you
The 7 things I hate about you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure

You love me, you like her

You make me laugh, you make me cry

I don't know which side to buy
You're friends, they're jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

It's awkward and it's silent
As I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now
Your sincere apology
And when you mean it, I'll believe it
If you text it, i'll delete it
Let's be clear
I'm not coming back
You're taking 7 steps here

The 7 things I hate about you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure

You love me, you like her

You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
You're friends, they're jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

Compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I should probably mention the 7 that I like

The 7 things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's
When we kiss I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine
When we're intertwined, everything's alright
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you.

If Pauline sees this she'll kill me. XP

Labels: 7 things, lyrics

0-♥-

Regretting words I can't take back.

How can you make me feel so stupid?

Think nothing of it, while the suspense kills me.
Suspense that'll never end.
Because I just can't tell you.

0-♥-