DISCLAIMER: The following post...is just a story about my day yesterday and is only relevant to Isabel and Isaac. It's filled with stuff about my angsty emoness and is probably just a waste of your time. I was pretty hysterical, but I wanted to get this all out. If you read it, I'll probablly just come off as dramatic and emo and immature. But if you're that bored and need something to read, then go ahead, but don't say I didn't warn you. Also, if you're going to read it, read it all the way through. Don't skim or just skip ahead to the last paragraph. See me how you want, I've been through enough hell to take it. But at least get the whole picture I'm able to give. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you okay?, What did you do today?, What are you doing tomorrow?, Is your face okay now?.... The beach, Borders, cousins, ways to suicide, forgetfulness, Korean pop songs, writing, running away, Cheerios and Lucky Charms, Uno, earthquakes, sleeping, secrets, 'What would you do if...?', posters, shallow, immature, raging hormones, 'Why...?', dying, disturbing images, and near-death experiences. Isaac and I talked about A LOT last night. O.o
I guess I should start at the beginning though...
Sometime yesterday, in the early afternoon, I called Isabel's house and talked to her dad. I asked what time she was coming home, and he asked me if I wanted to come to the airport with him to pick her up. Of course I wanted to. I wanted to be the first one to see her once she got back. (Heh. Guess I'm a bit selfish that way.) So I told him I'd ask my parents and then call back. But when I asked my parents...of course at first they said no. It wasn't until around 5:30 when we were by Izzy's house on the way somewhere. So they decided to stop by. But, just my luck, her dad wasn't home. My mom said he probably went somewhere and was just going to go straight to the airport without coming back home. I didn't give in though. I kept callig her house over and over. (I only left a message once though.) Still, no answer. As you can guess, I was pretty bummed out. My brother started annoying me too. Then my parents asked where we wanted to eat. They gave us 2 choices, and my brother said whichever one was fine. So I just picked one. So we decided to go eat there. But when we got there, my brother started complaining. "This place? I didn't know you meant this place! I don't wanna eat here!" So we went to eat at the other place. Which pissed me off. Because whenever I complain about where we eat, my parents scold me and say that I complain too much. But of course, my brother is a different story. Tch. But I didn't complain because I wanted to avoid fighting again. We were sitting there waiting for out food to come when my brother took his fork and knife and started wiping them with his napkin... But he knows I hate that sound ( metal against metal) cuz it really irritates my ears for some reason and so I just said "Stop it." and then my parents started yelling at me telling me to stop picking on my brother just becuase I didn't get to pick up Isabel from the airport. I started crying in the restaurant. To make things worse, my brother made my MP3 player freeze earlier that day so I couldn't listen to my music. And, if you don;t already know, I'm lost without my music. I wasn't gonna go all angst yemo on them, but I was dying to listen to some Fall Out Boy. So that just made me look even more sulky. Great. After dinner we had to go to Long Beach. On the way there my brother suddenly says "So we're going swimming on Saturday?" and then I said "What? Why? Don't, I can't." I really like swimming. I asked to go swimming at a lot of different time this summer, but we've only gone once, in Vegas. My dad asked why I can't and I just said "Because I can't." He got it though. And he just said "Then don't swim. We'll just go swimming." And that just pissed me off more. I couldn't go swimming because I had just started my period that day. (and so on top of everything else, I was already like, PMSing. -__-)
And then my parents yelled at me some more when we got home. And I cried some more. And cried, and cried. I couldn't stop it now. I think I was a bit hysterical. I don't know what was wrong with me. I'm never this dramatic...I think there's a few things that helped make me totally break like that. But I won't say. I just don't want you guys thinking I'm always this hyterical when I cry. So I just lay in my bed, hugging my pillow and crying while still trying to call Isabel on my cell phone. Once though, I was trying to call her and ended up calling Isaac instead by accident. I hung up right away, but he still got the call and called my right back. So I told him that I was trying to call Isabel and I called him by accident. He could obviously tell something was wrong though. I couldn't steady my voice and my nose was all blocked up. Anyone with ears could tell I was crying. So he asked me if I was okay but I told him not to worry about it. And then he told me that Isabel was back. And I asked him how he knew and he said because Isabel called him at around 8:45 when she got back. And then he said that she said she was going to call everyone else to. Which depressed me even more becuase she hadn't called me. I hung up on Isaac (who had no idea what to do cuz I wasn't even talking anymore, just crying) and he went to take a shower. So I was crying for a while and my dad started yelling at me some more for crying so much. But I really couldn't stop. It was so bad I threw up everything I ate for dinner into the sink. Adn then my dad got mad at me for throwing up in the sink. My head was pounding...it hurt so freakin much I sorta fainted... Like I was concious but I fell backwards onto the bathroom floor. I didn't hit it too hard though cuz I caught myself last minute by grabbing onto the sink. Then I went back to my bed, but I couldn't get to sleep. So I sat on the floor and softly played some music. I just put 'It Ends Tonight' on repeat. And that's when Isaac called me and we started talking about all that stuff up there^. When I was finally able to hang up at about 1:11 in the morning, I checked my phone and it said we talked for 1:48:42. But Actually it was even longer than that because at on point when we were takling the connection broke and I had to call him again. He was afraid I was gonna suicide (but he ended up actually accidentally giving me ideas on ways to suicide. xP) but he really shouldn't have. As I had just posted, that day, life's too precious to waste. And anyway, I definitely couldn'tsuicide the day my wife finally came back. ;] I'm really glad I talked to him though. I didn;t tell him about any of this stuff. We just talked about all those random things...but it was nice. I was able to smile before I went to sleep instead of crying myself to sleep. I wouldn't have hung up either if I wasn't afraid of wasting my minutes and if I didn't have to wake up early today. He really wouldn't let me hang up...he threatened to cal lmy home phone if I did. But finally it was past 1 and I decided I really should get off the phone so we said bye and goodnight and I tried to get to sleep. My eyes were heavy, but I couldn't tell if that was because they were puffy from crying or becasue I was sleepy. I'm pretty sure it was the first one though cuz I didn't get to sleep til past 3. I don't know if you'll read this but Thank you IsaacChae. :] ♥
So this morning, as I was typing this up, Isabel called me.
And she told me that she got too lazy to call people but she had promise to call Isaac.
And then we just talked about dresses and other stuff. xP
